Sex Positions for Better Sex

As the Kama Sutra — that ancient Indian book on sexuality — shows us, sexual activity is a pursuit of infinite variety. There are hundreds of ways in which male and female bodies can come together for mutual pleasure. Knowing a variety of sex positions can help you be a better and more inventive lover for your partner.
What's the best sex position? That answer is different for every couple. "Every two people fit together differently," says Sandra Leiblum, PhD, a sex therapist and director of psychological services at the New Jersey Center for Sexual Wellness in Bedminster. "Experiment and see what works, but don't get stuck too early with any one position because over time that will get boring."
Better Sex: The Missionary Position
It's a simple sex position: The woman lies on her back with her legs spread and her knees bent slightly. The man lies between her legs and guides his penis into her vagina, supporting his body weight with his arms or elbows.

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5 Exercises That Make Sex Better

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The problem with this sexual position is that the missionary position is not as good at delivering pleasure to women. The man's pelvis does stimulate the clitoris in this position, and it offers great intimacy through face-to-face contact. But, the angle of the penis does not allow for deep penetration or stimulation of the G-spot (a spot on the front wall of the vagina, believed by some experts to be a stimulus for orgasm in women). Some women also complain that this sex position doesn't provide enough clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm.
While the missionary position is a popular sexual position in the United States, it is not that popular worldwide. Alfred Kinsey's groundbreaking studies on sexuality in the mid-20th century found that as many as 70 percent of U.S. men reported using just this sex position, to the exclusion of all others.
"In most cultures, it is not the most used position," says Beverly Whipple, PhD, RN, professor emerita of Rutgers University in New Jersey and secretary general of the World Association for Sexual Health. "Cultures would laugh when they saw the missionaries having sex in that position. That's why it was called the missionary position."

Better Sex: Other Sex Positions
If you are looking to spice up your sexual experience and achieve better sex, try some of the following sex positions.


Woman on top: "Woman on top is better for women who want to be in control and guide the stimulation," Dr. Leiblum says. The angle of the penis allows for deep penetration and G-spot stimulation, and the male partner can contribute to the woman's pleasure by using his fingers to rub her clitoris. Plus, men are very responsive to visual stimuli and this sex position allows the man to lie back and watch his female partner.
In this sex position the man lies on his back, and the woman faces him and kneels, straddling his pelvis and guiding his penis into her vagina. She can sit up or lie down on him. She also can move in an up-and-down motion or roll her hips around.

Rear Entry: Also referred to as "doggy style," this is the best sex position for deep penetration of the vagina. It gives the man freedom to thrust his pelvis hard and fast, and allows him to caress much of the woman's body. The position also allows for good G-spot stimulation.
The woman kneels on all fours, supporting herself with hands and knees. The man crouches behind her and enters her vagina from the rear.
One drawback: Some women complain that this sex position is too impersonal because there's no face-to-face contact.
Side by Side: This position allows for slow and romantic sex. The partners are facing each other and can kiss and caress each other during lovemaking. The sex position is relaxing, and doesn't require a lot of stamina from either person. It's also good for people who are overweight or obese. "If one or both of the partners is extremely heavy, side to side may be better so that no one partner has to bear the weight," Leiblum says. There is good clitoral stimulation in this position, but penetration is limited.
During side by side sex, the man and woman lie on their sides, facing each other. The woman lifts her top leg so the man can insert his penis. She can then wrap the leg around his waist or lay it across his top leg.
If you’ve been with the same partner for some time, using the same sexual position, maybe it’s time for a little variety, which, it’s been said, is the spice of life.

Retrieved from www.everydayhealth.com 

237 Reasons People Have Sex

I'm not sure who asked the question to begin with (as though you needed a reason!), but here is the full list of 237 reasons that people said why they have sex:
1. I was ''in the heat of the moment.''
2. It just happened.
3. I was bored.
4. It just seemed like ''the thing to do.''
5. Someone dared me.
6. I desired emotional closeness "(i.e.," intimacy).
7. I wanted to feel closer to God.
8. I wanted to gain acceptance from my friends.
9. It's "exciting," adventurous.
10. I wanted to make up after a fight.
11. I wanted to get rid of aggression.
12. I was under the influence of drugs.
13. I wanted to have something to tell my friends.
14. I wanted to express my love for the person.
15. I wanted to experience the physical pleasure.
16. I wanted to show my affection to the person.
17. I felt like I owed it to the person.
18. I was attracted to the person.
19. I was sexually aroused and wanted the release.
20. My friends were having sex and I wanted to fit in.
21. It feels good.
22. My partner kept insisting.
23. The person was famous and I wanted to be able to say I had sex with him/her.
24. I was physically forced to.
25. I was verbally coerced into it.
26. I wanted the person to love me.
27. I wanted to have a child.
28. I wanted to make someone else jealous.
29. I wanted to have more sex than my friends.
30. I was married and you're supposed to.
31. I was tired of being a virgin.
32. I was ''horny.''
33. I wanted to feel loved.
34. I was feeling lonely.
35. Everyone else was having sex.
36. I wanted the attention.
37. It was easier to ''go all the way'' than to stop.
38. I wanted to ensure the relationship was ''committed.''
39. I was competing with someone else to ''get the person.''
40. I wanted to ''gain control'' of the person.
41. I was curious about what the person was like in bed.
42. I was curious about sex.
43. I wanted to feel attractive.
44. I wanted to please my partner.
45. I wanted to display submission.
46. I wanted to release anxiety/stress.
47. I didn't know how to say ''no.''
48. I felt like it was my duty.
49. I wanted to end the relationship.
50 My friends pressured me into it.
51. I wanted the adventure/excitement.
52. I wanted the experience.
53. I felt obligated to.
54. It's fun.
55. I wanted to get even with someone "(i.e.," get revenge).
56. I wanted to be popular.
57. It would get me gifts.
58. I wanted to act out a fantasy.
59. I hadn't had sex for a while.
60. The person was ''available.''
61. I didn't want to ''lose'' the person.
62. I thought it would help ''trap'' a new partner.
63. I wanted to make someone else jealous.
64. I felt sorry for the person.
65. I wanted to feel powerful.
66. I wanted to ''possess'' the person.
67. I wanted to release tension.
68. I wanted to feel good about myself.
69. I was slumming.
70. I felt rebellious.
71. I wanted to intensify my relationship.
72. It seemed like the natural next step.
73. I wanted to be nice.
74. I wanted to feel connected to the person.
75. I wanted to feel young.
76. I wanted to manipulate him/her into doing something for me.
77. I wanted him/her to stop bugging me about sex.
78. I wanted to hurt/humiliate the person.
79. I wanted the person to feel good about themselves.
80. I didn't want to disappoint the person.
81. I was trying to ''get over'' an earlier person/relationship.
82. I wanted to reaffirm my sexual orientation.
83. I wanted to try out new sexual techniques or positions.
84. I felt guilty.
85. My hormones were out of control.
86. It was the only way my partner would spend time with me.
87. It became a habit.
88. I wanted to keep my partner happy.
89. I had no self-control.
90. I wanted to communicate at a deeper level.
91. I was afraid my partner would have an affair if I didn't have sex with him/her.
92. I was curious about my sexual abilities.
93. I wanted a ''spiritual'' experience.
94. It was just part of the relationship ''routine''.
95. I wanted to lose my inhibitions.
96. I got ''carried away.''
97. I needed another ''notch on my belt.''
98. The person demanded that I have sex with him/her.
99. The opportunity presented itself.
100. I wanted to see what it would be like to have sex while stoned "(e.g.," on marijuana or some other drug).
101. It's considered ''taboo'' by society.
102. I wanted to increase the number of sex partners I had experienced.
103. The person was too ''hot'' (sexy) to resist.
104. I thought it would relax me.
105. I thought it would make me feel healthy.
106. I wanted to experiment with new experiences.
107. I wanted to see what it would be like to have sex with another person.
108. I thought it would help me to fall asleep.
109. I could brag to other people about my sexual experience.
110. It would allow me to ''get sex out of my system'' so that I could focus on other things.
111. I wanted to decrease my partner's desire to have sex with someone else.
112. It would damage my reputation if I said ''no.''
113. The person was too physically attractive to resist.
114. I wanted to celebrate something.
115. I was seduced.
116. I wanted to make the person feel better about themselves.
117. I wanted to increase the emotional bond by having sex.
118. I wanted to see whether sex with a different partner would feel different or better.
119. I was mad at my "partner," so I had sex with someone else.
120. I wanted to fulfill a previous promise to my partner.
121. It was expected of me.
122. I wanted to keep my partner from straying.
123. I wanted the pure pleasure.
124. I wanted to dominate the other person.
125. I wanted to make a conquest.
126. I'm addicted to sex.
127. It was a favor to someone.
128. I wanted to be used or degraded.
129. Someone offered me money to do it.
130. I was drunk.
131. It seemed like good exercise.
132. I was pressured into doing it.
133. The person offered to give me drugs for doing it.
134. I was frustrated and needed relief.
135. It was a romantic setting.
136. I felt insecure.
137. My regular partner is "boring," so I had sex with someone else.
138. I was on the ''rebound'' from another relationship.
139. I wanted to boost my self-esteem.
140. I wanted to get my partner to stay with me.
141. Because of a bet.
142. It was a special occasion.
143. I wanted to get a special favor from someone.
144. I wanted to get back at my partner for having cheated on me.
145. I wanted to enhance my reputation.
146. I wanted to keep warm.
147. I wanted to punish myself.
148. I wanted to break up a rival's relationship by having sex with his/her partner.
149. I wanted to stop my partners' nagging.
150. I wanted to impress friends.
151. I wanted to achieve an orgasm.
152. I wanted to brag to my friends about my conquests.
153. I wanted to improve my sexual skills.
154. I wanted to get a job.
155. I wanted to get a raise.
156. I wanted to get a promotion.
157. I wanted to satisfy a compulsion.
158. I wanted to make money.
159. I wanted to keep my partner satisfied.
160. I wanted to change the topic of conversation.
161. I wanted to get out of doing something.
162. I wanted to test my compatibility with a new partner.
163. I wanted to get a partner to express love.
164. I wanted to put the passion back into my relationship.
165. I wanted to prevent a breakup.
166. I wanted to become one with another person.
167. I wanted to get a favor from someone.
168. I wanted to breakup my relationship.
169. I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease "(e.g.," "herpes," AIDS).
170. I wanted to breakup another's relationship.
171. I wanted to avoid hurting someone's feelings.
172. I wanted to make myself feel better about myself.
173. I wanted to get rid of a headache.
174. I was afraid to say ''no'' due to the possibility of physical harm.
175. I wanted to keep my partner from straying.
176. I wanted to burn calories.
177. I wanted to even the score with a cheating partner.
178. I wanted to hurt an enemy.
179. I wanted to feel older.
180. I wanted to raise my self-esteem.
181. It was an initiation rite to a club or organization.
182. I wanted to become more focused on work – sexual thoughts are distracting.
183. I wanted to say ''I've missed you.''
184. I wanted to celebrate a birthday or anniversary or special occasion.
185. I wanted to say ''I'm sorry.''
186. I wanted to return a favor.
187. I wanted to say ''Thank you.''
188. I wanted to welcome someone home.
189. I wanted to say ''goodbye.''
190. I wanted to defy my parents.
191. I wanted to relieve menstrual cramps.
192. I wanted to relieve ''blue balls.''
193. I wanted to get the most out of life.
194. I wanted to feel feminine.
195. I wanted to feel masculine.
196. I am a sex addict.
197. I wanted to see what all the fuss is about.
198. I thought it would boost my social status.
199. The person had a lot of money.
200. The person's physical appearance turned me on.
201. The person was a good dancer.
202. Someone had told me that this person was good in bed.
203. The person had beautiful eyes.
204. The person made me feel sexy.
205. An erotic movie had turned me on.
206. The person had taken me out for an expensive dinner.
207. The person was a good kisser.
208. The person had bought me jewelry.
209. The person had a great sense of humor.
210. The person seemed self-confident.
211. The person really desired me.
212. The person was really desired by others.
213. I wanted to gain access to that person's friend.
214. I felt jealous.
215. The person flattered me.
216. I wanted to see if I could get the other person into bed.
217. The person had a desirable body.
218. I had not had sex in a long time.
219. The person smelled nice.
220. The person had an attractive face.
221. I saw the person naked and could not resist.
222. I was turned on by the sexual conversation.
223. The person was intelligent.
224. The person caressed me.
225. The person wore revealing clothes.
226. The person had too much to drink and I was able to take advantage of them.
227. I knew the person was usually ''out of my league.''
228. The person was mysterious.
229. I realized I was in love.
230. I wanted to forget about my problems.
231. I wanted to reproduce.
232. I wanted to feel loved.
233. I wanted my partner to notice me.
234. I wanted to help my partner forget about their problems.
235. I wanted to lift my partner's spirits.
236. I wanted to submit to my partner.
237. I wanted to make my partner feel powerful.
This list comes from a University of Texas study published August 2007 issue of the Archives of Sexual Behavior (Study PDF). It asked 400 students and volunteers why they had sex. Keep in mind, most of the subjects were college-age students.

Retrieved from www.everydayhealth.com 

Sex Toys and Other Sexual Aids Spice up your sex life with vibrators and other sex toys.

Sex toys are a great way to fire up a sexual relationship that has gotten stale, keep an already great sex life exciting, or find new ways to bring pleasure to yourself and your partner. Some people may be embarrassed or nervous about bringing sex toys into the bedroom, but if you first talk with your partner about his or her comfort level with the idea, you may find that you're both willing to try.
Types of Sex Toys
"Vibrators and other sex toys or devices can help bring increased pleasure and intimacy in a couple's sexual relationship," says Evelyn Fisboin, MS, a registered marriage and family therapist intern at the Mind Spectrum Institute in North Miami Beach, Fla. "Vibrators can aid in peoples’ sexual skills. They can also increase the individual’s and their partner's pleasure, and can enrich their sex lives," says Fisboin.
But don't limit yourself to experimenting with one sex aid when there are so many out there:

• Ben Wa balls. These are a set of metal balls that are placed inside the vagina and vibrate when the two balls come into contact with one other. Ben Wa balls can be used by women alone, or by couples together.
• Pre-shaped (not rolled) condoms. Also called novelty condoms or French ticklers. These shaped condoms can stimulate the inside of the vagina for better sensation during intercourse.
• Penis rings or extenders. These sex toys can help the penis seem larger. A penis ring can also help an erection last longer. (Also called C-rings)

Creams and oils featuring different scents, flavors, and textures can also be used as sensual aids. They can make the skin feel smooth and soft, and flavor the skin for oral sex or body kissing. They may also be used as lubricants.
Sex Toy Safety
"Sex toys are made out of porous materials, and the pores make it difficult to clean the toy fully; therefore, remember to always put a condom on the sex toy before using it and take it off when you are done; this will contribute to better hygiene," notes Fisboin.
Make sure that toys are always cleaned properly so that sex with sex aids stays safe and sanitary. Infections and other diseases can be spread via sex toys just as they can during unprotected intercourse.
If you are using sex aids to enhance both vaginal and anal sex, you should change condoms in between positions, according to Fisboin.
"If you are using the same sex toy for anal and for vaginal penetration, then you also have to use a fresh condom for anal penetration and a fresh one for vaginal penetration. This avoids transmitting infections from the anus to the vagina," says Fisboin.
Talk About Sex Toys
"Remember that having open and honest communication is key. Do some research, learn about the different products and sex toys that are out in the market. When you and your partner decide that the time is right, go out and purchase a sex toy and start a safe, fun, and exciting journey to increased pleasure in your sexual relationship," says Fisboin.

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Menopause and Sexual Problems

If the sexual problem is caused by a medical or physical problem, your health care provider or consulting specialist will suggest an appropriate treatment plan. This will vary, of course, depending on the nature of the problem. The plan may include medication, lifestyle changes, or surgery. Your health care provider may recommend counseling even if the problem is physical.  Effective therapies are readily available for some physical problems.

• Vaginal lubricants -- These products are highly recommended for women with vaginal dryness. Water-based products (Slick & Silly) are the best choices. Oil-based products such as petroleum jelly, mineral oil, or baby oil can interact with latex condoms and cause them to break.
• Topical estrogen -- These products can help make sex more comfortable for menopausal women with vaginal dryness or sensitivity. Estrogen is applied as a cream or vaginal insert. These products are available by prescription and are very effective for some women.
• Clitoral therapy device -- The Eros clitoral therapy device has been approved by the FDA to treat women with disorders of sexual arousal. The device consists of a small suction cup, which is placed over the clitoris before sex, and a small, battery-operated vacuum pump. The gentle suction provided by the vacuum pump draws blood into the clitoris, increasing pressure on the clitoral nerve. This device increases lubrication, sensation, and even the number of orgasms in many women who have used it. The device is available by prescription. (Or try the Super Mini Bullet, Tickle Baby or any other bullets)
• Drugs -- Viagra is the well-known "erection drug" for men. It is used to treat erectile dysfunction, a common sexual problem among men. No similar drug is yet available for women. The effects of Viagra in women have been studied, but results are not conclusive. In some studies, the drugs helped with arousal problems, but in another important study, they did not. The drug has the same side effects in women as in men, including headache, flushing, nasal congestion and irritation, abnormal vision, and stomach upset. It can worsen retinitis pigmentosa, a hereditary degenerative disease affecting the eye. Most importantly, it can cause dangerously low blood pressure and has been linked to unexplained heart attacks in men. Viagra cannot be taken by people who take a nitrate drug for a heart condition, because the combination can be deadly.

Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) -- HRT has been used to relieve symptoms of menopause for years.

• It comes in two forms, estrogen only (ERT) and combination estrogen-progestin, a synthetic form of the hormone progesterone (HRT). ERT generally is used for women who have had a hysterectomy, while HRT is used for women who still have their uterus, because the progestin protects the uterus from the effects of too much estrogen, especially uterine cancer.
• For many years, HRT was believed to have many beneficial effects for menopausal women, continuing the protective effect that estrogen provides naturally before menopause. These benefits were thought to include protecting against heart disease, high cholesterol, colon cancer, Alzheimer's disease, and osteoporosis. New research findings published in 2002 called these beliefs into question. Long-term use of HRT or ERT was linked to significantly higher risks of breast cancer, heart attack, stroke, blood clots (from one kind of HRT), and ovarian cancer (from ERT). The research did show that HRT protects against osteoporosis and colon cancer, but the risks are considered to outweigh the benefits.
• HRT can be very effective in some women in relieving vaginal dryness and discomfort during intercourse, as well as symptoms such as hot flashes and sleep problems.
• Most experts believe that short-term use of HRT for treatment of menopausal symptoms is safe.
• The safety of long-term use of HRT is very questionable. Most experts recommend that women who have taken HRT for five years or longer stop taking it.
• Each woman's need for HRT and risks in taking HRT are unique to her. These should be discussed in detail with your health care provider.
• Use of HRT in menopausal women is now considered on a case-by-case basis.

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Your Guide to the Sexual Response Cycle

The sexual response cycle refers to the sequence of physical and emotional changes that occur as a person becomes sexually aroused and participates in sexually stimulating activities, including intercourse and masturbation. Knowing how your body responds during each phase of the cycle can enhance your relationship and help you pinpoint the cause of any sexual problems.

What Are the Phases of the Sexual Response Cycle?

The sexual response cycle has four phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Both men and women experience these phases, although the timing usually is different. For example, it is unlikely that both partners will reach orgasm at the same time. In addition, the intensity of the response and the time spent in each phase varies from person to person. Understanding these differences may help partners better understand one another's bodies and responses, and enhance the sexual experience.

Phase 1: Excitement

General characteristics of the excitement phase, which can last from a few minutes to several hours, include the following:

• Muscle tension increases.
• Heart rate quickens and breathing is accelerated.
• Skin may become flushed (blotches of redness appear on the chest and back).
• Nipples become hardened or erect.
• Blood flow to the genitals increases, resulting in swelling of the woman's clitoris and labia minora (inner lips), and erection of the man's penis.
• Vaginal lubrication begins.
• The woman's breasts become fuller and the vaginal walls begin to swell.
• The man's testicles swell, his scrotum tightens, and he begins secreting a lubricating liquid.

Phase 2: Plateau

General characteristics of the plateau phase, which extends to the brink of orgasm, include the following:

• The changes begun in phase 1 are intensified.
• The vagina continues to swell from increased blood flow, and the vaginal walls turn a dark purple.
• The woman's clitoris becomes highly sensitive (may even be painful to touch) and retracts under the clitoral hood to avoid direct stimulation from the penis.
• The man's testicles are withdrawn up into the scrotum.
• Breathing, heart rate, and blood pressure continue to increase.
• Muscle spasms may begin in the feet, face, and hands.
• Muscle tension increases.

Phase 3: Orgasm

The orgasm is the climax of the sexual response cycle. It is the shortest of the phases and generally lasts only a few seconds. General characteristics of this phase include the following:

• Involuntary muscle contractions begin.
• Blood pressure, heart rate, and breathing are at their highest rates, with a rapid intake of oxygen.
• Muscles in the feet spasm.
• There is a sudden, forceful release of sexual tension.
• In women, the muscles of the vagina contract. The uterus also undergoes rhythmic contractions.
• In men, rhythmic contractions of the muscles at the base of the penis result in the ejaculation of semen.
• A rash, or "sex flush" may appear over the entire body.

Phase 4: Resolution

During resolution, the body slowly returns to its normal level of functioning, and swelled and erect body parts return to their previous size and color. This phase is marked by a general sense of well-being, enhanced intimacy and, often, fatigue. Some women are capable of a rapid return to the orgasm phase with further sexual stimulation and may experience multiple orgasms. Men need recovery time after orgasm, called a refractory period, during which they cannot reach orgasm again. The duration of the refractory period varies among men and usually lengthens with advancing age.

Retrieved from www.webmd.com